The Videoke Mania

I am inclined to think (which is a very dangerous thing to do) that videoke machines should be placed as one of the items on the prohibited lists.

This ingenious invention was observed to be very addicting. It perfectly fits along the lines of drug abuse, alcohol, smoking, games on facebook, as well as the most highly addictive ones among children such as Spongebob, Barney, Dora and Thomas the Train. Mixing the act of singing in videoke and anyone of these addictive substances and acts could be tantamount to world-wide chaos second only to the Armageddon itself. It’s that devastating.

Speaking from experience, Family KTVs (which rarely contains a family in some areas) or Videoke booths set up within Malls inside video arcades, are similar to the opium dens of the 17^th or 19^th Century. However, what’s different about it, and probably comforting, is the fact that only a select and trusted few are allowed to take part in the session thus casualties are minimal. Most times, among those people within the confines of the said booth, extreme enjoyment and nausea were noted.

I have also noted that whenever people enter the booths, which were made to be sound proof, the world-chaos that I have mentioned isn’t bound to happen. In fact, it was more soothing if it was done inside a booth. It’s less humiliating and less irritating.

However, world -wide chaos second only to Armageddon happens to some neighborhoods at varying times usually at night.

In most cases of near world-wide chaos, the giant homemade or Raon made machine was set up along the streets or inside the confines of the living room. These areas were not made sound proof, thus the casualties were at a maximum – at one time nearly affecting a two or three neighborhoods from three blocks away.

Families affected were noted to be restless at night and babies or the elderly would feel drowsy the next day. True enough, it’s known to be stronger than coffee itself when it comes to being a stimulant.

Just imagine its strength.

However, I have learned that presenting the case before the local government is utterly useless since at times you would even see the local baranggay captain and his fellow officers using their videoke to their hearts desire. Even the local government has been ensnared by the addictive substance. So the common Filipino could just endure.

Most times you’d hear some people singing even without minding if the timing is right or even if the lyrics are right. As long as they have the microphone in their hands, they’re the kings or queens of the night, and no one could argue with that. Sucks to you if it was your favorite song, you’d abhor the song for the rest of your life with their voices and lousy timing forever etched in your memory.

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“My Way”

It’s one of Frank Sintra’s greatest hits. It’s a song of international renown. Many love it, it’s a classic.

If you are a Filipino, you know how deadly this song is. It has generated several deaths so far whenever the song is being sung in roadside night clubs or in local beer houses that the newspaper and other forms of media doesn’t even bother to report them. It’s that common an occurrence.

So it’s one of the reminders to foreigners whenever they attempt to learn of the culture. When in the Philippines and invited to sing in the videoke, never ever sing “My Way” except when inside the Family KTVs or Mall arcade booths where the rooms are sound proof. Note that even having the best Frank Sinatra like voice doesn’t help at all.

Don’t say you weren’t warned.

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I have long held the notion that every day (yes, every day) someone celebrates his or her birthday.

In Metro Manila alone, you could conduct a survey (if you have time) on who celebrates his or her birthday on that day and find several people celebrating their birthdays. Do it again the next day and different people are also celebrating.

Even if you try a Chinese calendar or any other calendar, you’d find some person celebrating his or her birthday on that day and someone else is celebrating on the next day.

I haven’t tested it though, but I sure am certain of it.

Later on, I learned that perhaps I was not the only one who noticed this. Our whole neighborhood probably did, too.

No I never told a soul about it. Maybe they just noticed, I don’t know their source but it looks like they know.

I really never cared how they knew that notion, but I was really bothered by what they do about it, especially lately. I have noticed that probably in commemoration of someone’s birthday, they would have a party. Yes, a daily party!

I’d instantly know it a block away from home. The loud music of various songs, the loud singing that accompanies the loud music, and the raucous laughter of everyone would go on until the next day. Not even one person in our family would dare joining in since we rarely knew who it was for. No food, just alcohol and loud videoke music – two things I remembered mentioning above to be really deadly when mixed.

That’s how caring our neighbors are. They celebrate everyone’s birthday every day. It didn’t matter to them if their voices were like chipmunks on steroids or lions on megaphones. The point is that they just needed to sing away the birthday event even though half of them knew what the event was really for as long as there’s booze, some meat and an endless time with their beloved videoke. It’s more than enough.

So imagine the agony. Everyday the same songs (they only have a limited repertoire but their machine has thousands), the same off-key and off timing, and everyday your favorite songs are battered into pulp before your very ears. You’d do well if it was in the afternoon, yet by some sudden twist of fate, time stood still and they were given the heavenly chance of endless singing even until midnight. Wow!

Care to join them?

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