Desires

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“Your soul craves truth, beauty, wonder, love. Your soul craves to dream, to imagine, and even simply to understand. Your soul craves to connect, to commune, to create.”

Erwin McManus, Soul Craving

I just ate a whole pizza by myself. It wasn’t much of a challenge. I did it before when I was 12. Sadly, it never felt right. I was not reprimanded. My body is fine. I just seemed to have made a mistake with the pizza. The pizza was not the best pizza you could ever have. It was actually hard and tasted weird. It was one of those pizzas you’d see in the food courts: cheap and not as good as the real thing. But I was just craving for it.

We all crave for a lot of things. It’s those inexplicable desire that drives us all the way out of our daily routine. It could be coffee, a certain doughnut or a certain meal. It’s inconsistent and it varies.

IMG_20130906_214648In all of us, there’s this deeper craving that we could not explain. It is not a simple craving for food or drinks that passes and fades. It is something that we all seem to be searching for all our lives that many of the things we do is based on these desires.  A lot of us have put all our passions in it and mistake it for power, money or fame. But none of those ever satisfied. The buttom line is we all crave for love and intimacy.

We all do. Even me.

IMG_20131001_161301I am looking for someone who could support me in my passions. Someone who has the heart for the children that I work with and the ministry I engage in. She may not be a part of it all, but she should listen to my rants and frustrations while I listen to hers in different forms of media: text, chat or phone call. She can boss me around and push me to do the things I have to do when I don’t have the energy or the mind to do it.  Some one who would appreciate my weirdness and my faults. I crave for someone who would like to go away for mountain trips, swimming and the like and still enjoy it despite all the difficulties mountaineering entail. Someone who also loves pizza, ice cream and pasta and would force me to eat yogurt and okra. She should be someone who loves to watch movies and lie in bed all day if possible. A sleepy head like me. Yet she would manage to get me awake on long bus trips to somewhere exchanging stories and laughing until we realize the bus has reached the station. More than that, she should also be able to keep me awake while she sleeps on long bumpy jeepney rides, clutching my arm so my head wouldn’t drop. More importantly, she should be a constant companiion, textmate, chatmate, advisor, ministry partner and friend.

OK, so enough day dreaming.

IMG_20131129_205129Everyone even the hermit in the most remote region of the world craves for intimacy – that human contact. Otherwise we’ll be driven crazy by the solitude. Robinson Crusoe had it when he got stranded on an uninhabited island for years. He got all the living provisions to last him a life time, but he still needed a companion. After years, he became hungry for human contact and was rewarded by a human savage whom he trained to be a gentleman. We were all meant to be social beings.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERASometimes, intimacy and love may seem hard to find. There are times when people would only come to you when convenient. People would only come to you when they needed something from you. There are also times when people would just disappear as if no connection ever brought you together in the first place. A lot of us experience those. When those things happen. When we feel that all around us, we are secluded or alone in a crowd of many people, we need to remember that the most intimate kind of love we could ever find is present.

All roads to true intimacy leads only towards God. All paths that we take to find true love could only be found in God. Never has that been a lie. Even if the world falls around us, even when friends, family and lovers abandon us, there is always God.

neverleaveyou

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