A certain nice guy meets a really beautiful girl in a study group. He instantly likes her. He befriends the girl. His study group days are heaven for him. He loved seeing the girl laugh and smile while their group are having a good time. After months of spending the time together, they were close friends.
Problem was, guy wants to be more than close friends. He wants to make a move but doesn’t know how. He seeks the advice of friends. The friends tell him to be cool, look cool and a bunch of other things that the guy obviously is not.
So he wears this leather jacket and cool shoes he borrowed from his friend. He talked about swag and cool which didn’t make sense to him. He tried to swear and drink even if he doesn’t. He talked to other women like what a “cool” dude should be.
But he was not a “dude” he was simply a nice guy.
His effort backfires. The girl leaves out of disgust with the changes he did to himself. He is back to square one: “How do I get to tell her how I feel?”
While fictional, I guess this is the story of all nice guys. There’s this notion that the nice guys always finish last. There’s this notion that a nice guy is would always be friend-zoned.. Out of fear of failure or fear of looking like a creep, the nice guy simply backs down or reluctantly retreats to being a friend.
I am not an expert on these things. So I dare not give any advice. I’ll just share another story. This time, it’s a true one.
A friend once had a big crush on a guy. They were part of this group and were often together. She loved the way he treated her. She loved the communication between them. The communication led to gift giving and day outs. There were moments that they went out to the movies or dinner outs – just the two of them. Everyone thought they were actually a couple.
Everyone thought that.
But then there’s this:
“How do I know if he really likes me? I am afraid that if I opened it up, I’d be disappointed or worse our friendship would be over.”
Still, I really had no way of telling my friend what to do. Again, I was not an expert. I don’t get that much experience. Heck, I don’t even have a girlfriend!
I am telling these stories to impart this crucial fact: the fear of expressing love is true on both sexes. The Godly and nice men and women often have this difficulty to tell their potential partners how they feel. Human love and affection in its most sincere is often times shy and timid. It does exist, sometimes.
Don’t ask me how, why or what to do, because, again, I have no answers.
However, I am certain that there exists one genuine lover whose sincerity and honesty knows no bounds. He tells you outright that He loves you and does not hesitate to show it to you. In fact, He wants you to do the same.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7
God’s love is expressed throughout the Bible without hesitation. Imagine how blunt He is to rebuke out of love while giving hope with so much care. He openly tells how much He hated how His beloved runs away from Him but was still eager to open His arms to retrieve back His beloved.
But then I will win her back once again.
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her there.
I will return her vineyards to her
and transform the Valley of Trouble[b] into a gateway of hope.
She will give herself to me there,
as she did long ago when she was young,
when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt.
When that day comes,” says the Lord,
“you will call me ‘my husband’
instead of ‘my master.’
We serve a God without shame. And I am not even talking about Christ yet.
God is not ashamed to declare His love to us even if we are filthy and worthless. God is not hesitant to remind us and wait for us even if we run away and try to leave His loving arms. He is not ashamed to tell us that He loves us and proves it by sending His own son to die for us. He is not ashamed to call you beloved even if you run after other lovers at the slightest whim.
What a shameless God!!
While I cannot give answers to human heart problems, I know for a fact that our heart’s desires could only be filled by a God who loves and that He wants us to be unashamed to tell it to the world.
So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord. And don’t be ashamed of me, either, even though I’m in prison for him. With the strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the sake of the Good News. For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus.
2 Timothy 1:8-9